I wrote a post a while back about how some people are very good at getting away with doing intentionally creepy things by passing themselves off as just ~awkward~.
Recently, I noticed a particular pattern that plays out. While creeps can be any gender, there’s a gendered pattern by which creepy men get other men to help them be creepy:
A guy runs over the boundaries of women constantly
He makes them very uncomfortable and creeped out
But he doesn’t do that to guys, and
He doesn’t talk to guys about it in an unambiguous way, and
When he does it in front of guys, he finds a way to make it look deniable
And then some women complain to a man, maybe even a man in charge who is supposed to be responsible for preventing abuse in a space
and he has no idea what they are talking about, since he’s never the target or witness
And he’s had a lot of pleasant interactions with that guy
So he sympathizes with him, and thinks he must mean well but be have trouble with social skills
And then takes no action to get him to stop or to protect women
And so the group stays a place that is safe for predatory men, but not for the women they target
For example:
Mary, Jill, and Susan: Bill, Bob’s been making all of us really uncomfortable. He’s been sitting way too close, making innuendo after everything we say, and making excuses to touch us.
Bill: Wow, I’m surprised to hear that. Bob’s a nice guy, but he’s a little awkward. I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it. I’m not comfortable accusing him of something so serious from my position of authority.
What went wrong here?
Bill assumed that, if Bob was actually doing something wrong, he would have noticed.
Bill didn’t think he needed to listen to the women who were telling him about Bob’s creepy actions. He didn’t take seriously the possibility that they were right.
Bill assumed that women who were uncomfortable with Bob must be at fault; that they must be judging him too harshly or not understanding his awkwardness
Bill told women that he didn’t think that several women complaining about a guy was sufficient reason to think something was wrong
Bill assumed that innocently awkward men should not be confronted about inadvertantly creepy things they do, but rather women should shut up and let them be creepy
A rule of thumb for men:
If several women come to you saying that a man is being creepy towards them, assume that they are seeing something you aren’t
Listen to them about what they tell you
If you like the guy and have no idea what they’re talking about, that means that what he is doing is *not* innocent awkwardness.
If it was innocent awkwardness, he wouldn’t know how to hide it from other men
Men who are actually just awkward and bad at understanding boundaries also make *other men* uncomfortable
If a man is only making women uncomfortable but not men, that probably means he’s doing it on purpose
Take that possibility seriously, and listen to what women tell you about men
tl;dr If you are a man, other men in your circle who are nice to you are creepy towards women. Don’t assume that if something was wrong that you would have noticed; creepy men are good at finding the lines of what other men will tolerate. Listen to women. They know better than you do whether a man is being creepy and threatening towards women; if they think something is wrong, listen and find out why. Don’t give predatory dudes who are nice to you cover to keep hurting women.
This Trump policy is NOT about security. The policy is a white nationalist dream come true. It tortures an ‘out group’, and it sends a message to racists in the GOP base that Trump stands with you.
The Supreme Court just issues a ruling allowing Ohio and other states to purge voters from their election registration rolls due to their failure to cast a ballot in previous elections.
This is a major victory for the Trump administration and the GOP, and a direct consequence of the Supreme Court being stacked with more conservative judges (the votes were 5-4). This is also a huge part of what Trump/the GOP were counting on to save them in the 2018 midterm elections, which is where Democrats have been hoping to take back a majority in the House, giving them more power to combat Trump’s abuses of power and Republican legislation.
What this means is YOU CAN NOT ASSUME THAT YOU ARE REGISTERED for the 2018 elections, just because you SHOULD be. Thanks to this decision, red states can purge voters’ registration based on their not having cast a ballot in even just previous federal elections, NOT just the national Presidential elections. Effectively, if you haven’t voted in previous senate races or for congressional representatives in the past few years, that’s all they need now to say you’re no longer registered and need to register again.
They’re deliberately counting on people assuming they’re still registered and so not checking until after registration deadlines have passed, or showing up to vote this November and only then finding out they’re no longer registered, when its too late to do a damn thing about it.
And this is absolutely targeted at marginalized communities, low income voters, disabled voters, and basically anyone who simply can’t always AFFORD to keep on top of every federal election and show up to vote in every senate race, etc. Which not so coincidentally happen to be all the communities and voters who have the most to gain from Democratic victories in the 2018 midterms and are the least likely to cast votes for GOP candidates at this point.
This was absolutely a calculated effort aimed specifically at keeping the GOP in power with a majority control of the government come November, and unfortunately, it has a DAMN good chance of accomplishing just that if it goes by unacknowledged. I’m not looking to alarm or panic anyone, simply to say:
If you are a registered voter in a red state at this point, please please please do not take your registered status as assumed. Check on your registration status, look up all relevant voter registration deadlines for your state and district, CIRCLE THAT SHIT ON YOUR CALENDAR, and check your registration status AGAIN right before those deadlines pass, so you can be sure of it before its too late to do anything about it til the next voting cycle.
use vote.org to check your registration status. use the form, or scroll down to find the resources for the state you live in.
Everyone is talking about Hurricane Florence but where is the talk about Typhoon Mangkhut. I mean, Florence might be hitting states but Mangkhut will hit countries everybody. Countries.
Florence category 4 with strength up to 140mph
Mangkhut is classified as a category 5 with strength up to 160mph.
Both are going to be devastating.
Just giving a little support to the east asia over here.
Spread the word everyone and pray for both of them please
A bipartisan report released by the CIA, FBI, NSA, and ODNI stated unequivocally that Russia, under orders from Putin, carried out a far-reaching cyber operation with the goal of interfering in the 2016 U.S. elections.
One branch of this attack involved fake Russian accounts spreading disinformation, discord, and inflammatory content (in a word, propaganda) across many social media platforms, most notably Facebook and Instagram, but also tumblr. The Department of Justice indicted 13 Russians and 3 Russian companies for these actions. The defendants referred to their activities as “information warfare”, and stated that their goal was to “spread distrust towards the candidates and the political system in general.”
In spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, President Trump has dismissed reports of Russian meddling as “ridiculous”, and has publicly stated that he believes Putin’s assertions that Russia did not interfere in the 2016 U.S. elections.
We should all be concerned about outside powers seeking to interfere with the integrity of our elections, regardless of which candidates or parties benefit from such interference.
As the midterms approach, be wary of voices sowing discord, fear, and despair. Look for solutions and ways to help instead.
Be wary of anyone who says your vote doesn’t matter. It does.
Be wary of anyone who says that “both sides” are the same. They’re not.
Be wary of anyone who says an election result is a foregone conclusion. It isn’t.
Be wary of anyone who argues for ideological purity and categorical rejection of “flawed” candidates. Perfect people do not exist.
Be wary of sharing posts from sources you do not recognize or know to be trustworthy. Always corroborate with a reputable source.
These people want you to stay home on election day. They don’t want you to exercise your rights and your power at the ballot box. Remember, voter turnout is always lower in non-presidential years, which means your vote counts for more.
also tumblr drama is so much better because so rarely is it done for clicks like twitter and instagram are…. like tumblr drama is ALWAYS next level shit. this site does not fail to entertain. we got lesbians who cut off each others toes, people who fake their race for 2 YEARS only to get exposed to be white and have said multiple slurs under the guise they could reclaim them, the bone steal girl (bless her soul), 22 year olds who bully teenagers because they share the same kin…….. this site is so messy
we all have our fun jokes at Tom Nook’s expense, but real talk: if any land owning real estate developers out there want to just give me a small house with an interest free loan that I never have to pay off if I don’t want to, but if I do pay it off they will give me a bigger home that I also never have to pay off and that loan is also entirely interest free then honestly you will be my hero. please get in touch with me at any time so we can arrange this.
ugh 