roachpatrol:

i think a component of victim blaming a lot of people don’t quite realize is that it’s not just about saying that someone deserved to be victimized. it’s also about saying there’s a particular way you should be a victim, a particular kind of victimization that’s real. so if you don’t fit particular profile, what happened to you didn’t count, so you shouldn’t be listened to. 

i keep seeing this with antis. they say, ‘i’m a survivor, or my friend is a survivor, and representations of noncon really upset us, so they’re awful and let’s get rid of them and punish anyone for making them.’ and then someone else says, ‘i’m a survivor and representations of noncon really reassure me, so leave them all alone.’ and then the antis go ‘no, you don’t count, and what you want doesn’t matter, and how you’re currently recovering is wrong. you need to be the right kind of survivor, or, if you can’t be, be the wrong kind of survivor in secret.’

and that’s bullshit and makes me really fucking angry every time i see it, and i keep seeing it a lot. someone isn’t actually sticking up for survivors if she only counts the ones that do what she wants. she’s actually just fucking everyone over big time.