(this got really long. whoops)

dont worry at all sweety!

rape fantasies are actually one of the most common sexual fantasies in women. (x) (x)

There is nothing wrong with being into dubcon or noncon!* 

for many women this serves as a guilt free way to explore their sexuality in a world that tells women that they are not allowed to have a sexual appetite in the same way men do and to do so makes them “sluts”

for a lot of victims of sexual assault, writing or drawing noncon/dubcon is also actually a method they use to cope with their past trauma, so when people bash this kink or say things like “rape isnt a kink!” they are actually speaking over ACTUAL RAPE VICTIMS and people who have DEALT with the kind of abuse these people are claiming to try to protect them from.

what i have noticed in fan fiction as well, is that the terms dubcon and noncon are INCREDIBLY useful because they are used to describe something different than generally labeling something as “rape” does.

For me, and something that i have noticed other people do is that noncon and dubcon can be used as terms to lable the KINK while the word rape can be used if the situation is going to be more horror than sexy.

dubcon and noncon are also useful terms because they describe content that may seem the same to the people that are making these dumb callout posts but actually mean very different things for the people consuming this kind of material. there are many people that may be into dubcon or noncon turned consensual later on but would be triggered or otherwise made highly uncomfortable by full on noncon.  

an important thing to note is that noncon and dubcon do not “normalizing sexual assault” because these are terms that describe tropes in FICTION specifically! No one is telling rape victims that they just had “noncon sex”, because noncon is not a word that is used to describe real events. just like the suffering of a real human man is not the same as “manpain” and a quirky girl in real life is not a “maic pixie dreamgirl”. Tropes are used to describe FICTION and therefor when we talk about them we cannot separate them from the realm of fiction!

noncon doesn’t happen to real people. it happens to characters. no one is getting hurt. 

can depictions or rape in porn contribute to violence against women in the real world?** absolutely. And should we be careful and critical about the kind of porn we consume and make sure to talk about actual issues of sexual assault while we continue to enjoy our porn? absolutely! But liking noncon and in the same breath saying you would NEVER support rape in real life is NOT hypocritical.

IN FACT! the use of the term NONCON which specifies a FICTIONAL scenario is LESS harmful because of the emphasis on the separation of fiction and reality.

In short. OP can go fuck themselves.
or better yet, learn what the fuck they’re talking about before they open their mouth. 

*this is so long as people are able to understand that there is a difference between real life and FANTASY (which most people do!) and that if you want to act on these fantasies it must be in a roleplay setting with another consenting adult that has agreed beforehand and is able to back out at any time.   

**especially in live action porn because in some cases the people in these videos are ACTUALLY being raped so we have to make sure we know where our porn is coming from

Anon. I would really love if you could come off anon so we could talk about this more if you ever wanted to. i have long since come to accept my love of all things bad kink and it kills me to see other people struggling with this.

*takes you to my bosom* 

you are not alone