patrexes:

patrexes:

patrexes:

patrexes:

something that was once good for you can be harmful when you’re in another stage of your life and healing process. something that once horrified you might become a lifeline. and what harms you might help someone else. people are—trauma is—individual like that.

and unless you’ve talked with an individual at length, you’re not at all qualified to say that they’re harming themself—and certainly not qualified to quantify any harm done to them by not engaging with what you think is harmful.

this isn’t just about fanfiction. it’s also about drugs. it’s also about cutting. it’s about pretty much anything you can think of, because there isn’t a coping mechanism in the world that can’t be(come) maladaptive, and most “harmful” ones can be extremely constructive in the right circumstances.

before you say shit about how drugs can never be anything but a maladaptive coping mechanism, i’d like you to be very, very aware that i’m talking about that…..as a functional addict.

is shooting up going to do you more harm than not shooting up? in a vacuum, yeah, no shit. but we don’t live in a vacuum, and when the harm done by shooting up exists alongside the harm negated by shooting up—like being able to dissociate the fuck out of your ptsd, or being able to self-medicate for pain you can’t get a prescription for, or god forbid being happy for once in your shitty fucking life—it gets a lot more complicated.

yes, it can do harm. yes, it can be extremely maladaptive. just like pretty much anything. and you don’t know enough about any random stranger’s life, experiences, or needs to say that it’s not the only goddamn thing keeping them alive.

i’m not saying “hey there’s never any harm done by doing drugs or cutting or reading darkfic, so go do all those things right now!” i’m saying there are situations and people for whom one or multiple of those things might be extremely situationally helpful, and that shouting down “that’s a maladaptive coping mechanism and you’re destroying yourself and have to stop” from up on your high horse isn’t constructive and won’t help them.

you want people to have other outlets? build support systems that make other outlets feasible and useful. don’t just….. moralize.