I’m having such a bad sad attack
I have my chemistry final on Wednesday and I’m just so scared I still have so much to study and I feel so unprepared I just wish I could fucking not take it and fail this class and then get a fresh start for next semester but I can’t and I feel terrible

I dropped the ball so fucking hard this time I just want to curl up and sleep for three months and I can’t I can’t I can’t

and even after I finish my test I still have so much to fucking do I really want to get a chance to make the presents I was planning for Jenny and Pi and Rio and Niha and Christmas is just so soon I don’t have enough time

I feel so stupid I feel like everyone else on the planet is smarter than me and I’m just sitting here and I’m going to fail chemistry and then I’ll never be a doctor and I’ll have to live with my brothers saying they were right about me not being as smart as them for the rest of my life and my parents will think I can’t be trusted even when I promised them I would do well in school

I just really really want to be smart and get a good grade and I feel so dumb and I know it’s too late for that I don’t even know if I’ll pass this class and I just hate myself for it. I know that other people are good at chemistry so why can’t I be? why do I have to be so bad at this? why can’t I just study and be smart and get it?

I really want to go to bed but tomorrow is the last day I have to study and I don’t think that’s enough time