So otherkin
I was there I was one of you but I was also thirteen years old and mentally ill
Like look I still wish often that I wasn’t a human and was instead a dragon because being a dragon has the benefits of being a huge magic reptilemonster and more importantly being a huge magic reptilemonster that doesn’t have to worry about paying back student loans
but sadly ‘avoiding real life problems because things are hard’ is neither a good long-term coping strategy or actually a gender identity so maybe if otherkin could please stop trying to synonymize their issues with that of transgender people that would be swell
I was with you until I started actually thinking about the size of my student loans and suddenly deciding to identify as a dragon started making a lot of sense again. >_>
In all seriousness, I actually find otherkinicity really hard to grapple with mentally because I’m not sure how to respond to someone that professes a genuine diasporic experience about their human form, since there doesn’t seem to be any reason why the qualities and components of my already kinda bullshit identity don’t just as equally map onto someone’s otherkin identity… Like, I’m not sure what makes the fundamental difference besides, like, dragons not existing in real life.
But maybe that’s enough?
Still, sometimes I wonder if being genderqueer is just another way of “avoiding real life problems because things are hard.” I don’t really have a good response to that because any response I could give applies just as equally to Cronus Ampora.
If being genderqueer would mean I didn’t have to pay off student loans my life would be a whole hell of a lot easier, let me tell you.
But all facetiousness aside, I have some responses!
1) I don’t mind otherkin too much, I generally just roll my eyes because for the most part, otherkin aren’t hurting anyone and they’ll figure their shit out on their own. As I said, I used to consider myself ‘kin. It was a phase, some kids go scene, some kids are AGGRESSIVELY AND REBELLIOUSLY GOTHPAGAN, I was a bird. For like a year. Because I was having anxiety and depression issues and fucked up proprioception during growth spurts and what kid doesn’t want to be special and have wings? It was totally an avoidant thing, it is for a lot of people, and it tends to occupy the ‘WE WERE ALL IN MIDDLE SCHOOL ONCE OKAY’ shame-space in the brains of a lot of people.
I don’t see trans* people “grow out it” nearly as often (and boy are they pressured to!)
2) Society has a rigid framework of gender expectations and perceptions that are somewhat arbitrary and actively harmful to people who do not conform to them, trans* or not. Society’s framework of dealing with people existing in the physical reality of being bipedal simians with 23 chromosome pairs and belonging to the species Homo sapiens is not arbitrary and frankly if we start treating people as literally their ‘kin identities, a lot of people are going to get hurt, physically, in the sense that humans are fundamentally not, for example, several tons of fire-breathing reptile.
Like if I aggressively reject the expectations of femininity and femaleness society places on me based on my baby-making bits, really the only one being harmed here is my biological fitness. If I aggressively reject the expectations of humanity placed on me (in actuality by same baby-making bits, but also the rest of me), then we might run into a problem (first among them being there is no way I can actually fly).
3) People playing with gender expression and presentation, dysphoric or not, genderqueer or not, are helping break down the aforementioned rigidity of gender expectations. Even if genderqueer were iffy or wishywashy or trendy or what the fuck ever, genderfuckery is making a safer environment for people who weren’t safe before, trans or genderqueer or cis with atypical gender presentation or whoever, and you can’t convince me that’s a bad thing. Disregarding the validity of the identity, genderqueerity is doing active good in a way ‘kinness is not.
4) Surprisingly few ‘kin would like you to treat them as actually their ‘kin identity (or have a fictionkin identity which they can make the rules for). Dogkin strangely usually aren’t about being treated with the same agency given a domestic companion animal, because they are still people. They just want an acknowlegement that they are special and different. This is not an intrinsically unworthy desire! It’s fine to want to be special and different. Just saying you are literally an animal except you still are into this ‘talking’ and ‘eating at tables thing’ is not but no, totally, I am trapped in this prison of flesh, pronouns are pup/pups/pupself. But there is a community who says you are special and you’re not weird you’re powerful, and that’s a really reassuring thing to have if you’re a weird kid who’s not sure what’s going on in their life.
5) When you’re ‘kin, people think you’re weird and that’s about the extent of it. If people want or really really believe they are ‘kin, that is their perogative, they genuinely experience bodily dysphoria about being human, I hope they get their lives sorted out and can be comfortable in their skin someday. I really do! But as it stands, otherkin have this nasty tendency to appropriate trans* terminology and diminish and trivialize our issues, then ride roughshod over criticisms. People who are ‘transethnic’ or ‘transfat’ or ‘transdisabled’ are in the same category. Is this a legitimate problem that causes significant and distressing dysphoria in some people? Probably, the brain is a hot mess. But in the majority of cases, stuff like this is making a joke out of gender dysphoria and trans* experiences, and that is mostly what I take issue with.
6) If you literally identify as a fictional character I’m fucking done with you, what the actual, no. No, you are not- stop. No. You’re not actually Dave Strider go the fuck home.*
*I have actually met people like this.
Pi sums up most of my thoughts on otherkin
ugh 