alollipocalypse:

fun facts about pansexual/bisexual “people”:

• we are actually greedy. not because we like more than one gender, but because we’re really all leprechauns dressed as people. we gave the gays the rainbow, but we’ll keep the pot o’ gold if you know what i mean
• we are very, very confused. not because we like more than one gender, but because pansexual/bisexual people are notorious philosophers. why are we here? where do we come from? is the cafeteria serving pizza today? pansexual/bisexual leprechauns people seek to answer all these questions and more
• we are pretending and we’ll come out eventually. as leprechauns. one day, we’ll all come out as leprechauns, and inherit the earth. really, i don’t know why you’re so enthused about us coming out as one of your human identities at all. enjoy your time as dominant species while it lasts, honestly